Secret Santas

In the middle of all the usual holiday season advertising that encourages us to spend with wild abandon, and the attendant nervous speculation about whether or not we will, it was refreshing to read the following post from one of my favorite blogs, Cool Chicks from History. It's about Secret Santas:

If you haven’t heard yet, there is a nice little trend going on where people are going to Kmart and other retailers to pay off other people’s Christmas layaway. (Layaway is a program where people put aside items and pay for them a little bit at a time through the store).

In Grand Rapids, MI 20 Kmart layaways have been paid off in the last three days.

More than a dozen people have visited Bismark, ND Walmarts to anonymously pay off someone’s layaway.

An anonymous donor in Davenport, IA paid off four Kmart layaways.

Secret Santas have paid off layaways in Indiana, Nebraska, Michigan, Iowa, and Montana.

The phenomena seems to have started in Michigan and most of the incidents so far have happened in the Midwest. Donors have mostly asked to see lists that include Christmas toys and left a small balance, asking that the person who put the items on layaway be told that the bulk of their balance has been paid off.

Kmart, Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, and Babies R Us all have layaway programs if you are inspired to play Secret Santa yourself.

If you have a little extra cash, this is a great idea for how to spend it wisely. It also reminded me of another Secret Santa opportunity which I've enjoyed in the past. The Post Office collects letters to Santa Claus from needy kids for Operation Santa Claus. Here's the scoop from their website:

We hope that you will participate in Operation Santa Claus and become a Santa's helper this year by answering one letter or multiple letters from needy children. These are children who are not asking for toys, but for articles of clothing, for school supplies, for a toothbrush or other personal care items. While toys are a lot of fun, the items on these children's "Dear Santa" list are much more basic. Please help!

Here's a link to the list of participating Post Office locations, but you might also check with your own local Post Office. After you sign up, you'll be given a letter (or a bunch of letters to chose from), then all you have to do is purchase the items on the child's list, wrap them up and drop the box in the mail (I gave the return address of Santa Claus, North Pole, of course). There's still time to give a child -- and the child's family -- a great surprise Christmas! 

The Thoughtful Consumer Holiday Sales!

While mindless holiday shopping is something I don't advocate, mindful shopping for meaningful gifts is part of our holiday traditions. With that in mind, here are a few suggestions for gifts from The Thoughtful Consumer for friends and family -- or yourself:

If you'd like a boost to get you going on that seemingly inevitable New Year's resolution to unclutter and organize, try reading my book! You can find it on Amazon.com in both print and Kindle formats, but there's a special sale going on at Lulu.com that will let you save 30% on CyberMonday. To take advantage of the offer, click here for the print version; click here for the e-Pub version (you can read ePub books on the iPad, Nook, your computer and many other devices, but not the Kindle). At check-out, enter the code: CYBERMONDAY.

If you need to focus on getting your closet under control, check out my 20-page article, "How to Get Dressed Without Driving Yourself Crazy." It's available exclusively for the Kindle (and Kindle Reader) here, always for only 99 cents!

Art is beautiful, interesting, challenging, uplifting, stimulating, meditative, thought-provoking, soul-embracing, and sometimes just plain ol' fun. I think of it as an important part of life; I don't think of it as unnecessary "stuff." Granted, if you have too much art in your home, it can become as problematic as anything else that clutters your space, but usually people collect art rather than pile it up like too many toys or t-shirts or plastic food storage containers.

So, because I hope to contribute to the life-enhancing qualities of daily life -- and because it's just plain ol' fun -- I make art. You can see it on my blog, Art by Cynthia, which features examples of art I make and art I like. [Above: Japanese Garden Bridge, 3"x4", image transfer painted with watercolors, matted] Search the categories to see the paintings, drawings and hand-colored photographs I've posted, all with reduced holiday prices if you order by December 25, 2011. There are additional charges for shipping. If you live in Los Angeles and would like to see some of my other work, let me know and we can arrange it.

Happy Holidays!

Buy Nothing Day 2011

I'm appalled by the decision of some large retailers to open their stores on Thanksgiving to extend the time for what is usually the traditional Black Friday sales. Black Friday is bad enough, having gone from frantic buying frenzy to the kind of insanity that results in injuries and even death. Why diminish the value of Thanksgiving, which doesn't have any shopping other than food associated with it, by turning it into part of an annual high-pressure spending event?

Although the concept of simple living seems to be more popular each year and the necessity to cut back on spending is definitely increasing for most families, we still can't shake the idea that buying stuff is the primary focus of the holiday season. So, I'll mention once again the sanity-saving holiday, Buy Nothing Day, which is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. One day, November 25th, in which we make the decision not to spend our money. At all. Period. It's like a one-day fast: enough to make you aware of what you're doing, not enough to cause you any harm. It also keeps you out of the Black Friday madness.

But, realizing that we can't go forever without buying anything, after our one-day fast let's also consider being more conscious of how and where we do spend our money. Small Business Saturday, on November 26th, advocates shopping in locally-owned, non-chain stores. The two-year-old initiative is sponsored by the big business American Express in support of its small merchant customers. A company spokesman explains that by next year it will become "a part of the holiday tradition nestled between Black Friday and Cyber Monday."

Yes, Cyber Monday is now an "official day," too. The term was invented in 2005 by Shop.org, part of the U.S. trade association National Retail Federation when it was noted that "millions of otherwise productive working Americans, fresh off a Thanksgiving weekend of window shopping, were returning to high-speed Internet connections at work Monday and buying what they liked."

I doubt that we'll return anytime soon to the days when a joyful holiday season wasn't associated with spending massive amounts of hard-earned cash on everything from gifts to decorations to a new holiday wardrobe, followed by months of deprivation while trying to pay off the bills. But as some of us continue to spread the idea of restraint, maybe more of us will start to be mindful of our spending choices. Spending is a choice, once you've taken care of survival necessities, and while everyone is entitled to make their own choices, I know that camping out for a full week to snag a few Black Friday deals isn't one I'd make. Would you?

Sorting It Out with Discardia

Tuesday, December 21st, brings a rare treat: a lunar eclipse that happens on the night of the Winter Solstice. The last time this occurred was in 1638; the next time will be in 2094. Alas, cloudy weather will probably obscure the celestial event here in Los Angeles, but there's something else we can celebrate instead that also begins on the same day: Discardia.

One of my favorite holidays, Discardia rejoices in letting go of stuff rather than acquiring more. You can get the details on the Discardia website, but here's the short version, according to founder Dinah Sanders:

 "Discardia is a holiday to celebrate and teach letting go of what doesn’t add value to your life – whether a physical object, habit, or emotional baggage – and replacing it with what makes your world more awesome."

How can anyone argue with awesomeness? And you can celebrate this particular holiday four times each year (between the Solstices/Equinoxes and their following new moons), so there's no worry about missing it.

I'm particularly fond of the winter Discardia celebration because of its proximity to the Season of Spending. By reminding us to focus on letting go rather than getting more, the pressure's off to spend lots of money buying gifts for others and instead simply enjoy spending time together. As Dinah wrote on her blog about her family's experience, "We have traded presents for presence." I'd bet that this kind of trade would lead to a happier holiday season for just about everyone.

This is also the time of year that people are thinking about their New Year's resolutions. I'm not a big fan of those annual resolutions (read an alternative approach here), but I am a fan of making a commitment at any time to let go of the clutter that seems to plague the majority of people living in all but the most dire situations. Clutter doesn't just crowd your home, it crowds your life. It prevents you from living fully in the moment, from feeling comfortable in your surroundings, from using your time to do the meaningful things that would bring you happiness. And it doesn't take a lot of clutter to be disruptive (and destructive) -- just enough to bother you, get in your way, or regularly occupy your time and energy dealing with it. So, if you do happen to make some of those New Year's resolutions, even if you have just a small amount of annoying clutter, I hope you'll add "uncluttering" to your list.

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you've probably noticed the link on the sidebar to my book, Sorting It Out: One Disorganized Woman Solves the Problem of Too Much Stuff. I'm very pleased to let you know that the book is now available on the Kindle for only $7.99! If you don't have a Kindle, you can download a free Kindle app from the Amazon.com website and read any Kindle book on your PC, Mac, iPad, iPod, Blackberry or Android. Of course, the book is still available in print, too. Click here or on the sidebar to link to Amazon.com and choose the format you'd like. Let Sorting It Out help you sort out your clutter dilemmas and put you on the road to Stuff Freedom!

And whatever holiday you're celebrating at this time of the year, I hope it's peaceful, joyful and completely terrific!

© 2010 Cynthia Friedlob

Image credit: All images from Big Stock Photo

Cover design by Cynthia Friedlob

Juxtapositions: $11 Million Christmas Tree and a Global Perspective on Children

If you're not concerned about keeping your holiday spending under control, hop onto your private jet and go check out a self-proclaimed "seven star" hotel, the Emerites Palace in the United Arab Emirate. They tipped the scales of extravagance almost beyond imagining when they installed this year's Christmas tree a few days ago:

It is the "most expensive Christmas tree ever," with a "value of over 11 million dollars," said Hans Olbertz, general manager of Emirates Palace hotel, at its inauguration. The 13-metre (40-foot) faux evergreen, located in the gold leaf-bedecked rotunda of the hotel, is decorated with silver and gold bows, ball-shaped ornaments and small white lights.

But the necklaces, earrings and other jewellery draped around the tree's branches are what give it a record value. It holds a total of 181 diamonds, pearls, emeralds, sapphires and other precious stones, said Khalifa Khouri, owner of Style Gallery, which provided the jewellery.

"The tree itself is about 10,000 dollars," Olbertz said. "The jewellery has a value of over 11 million dollars -- I think 11.4, 11.5."

But, upon reflection, the hotel decided that this tower of luxury gone wild might not have been such a great idea after all:

. . . the hotel now regrets "attempts to overload the tradition followed by most hotels in the country with meanings and connotations that do not fall in line with the professional standards" of the hotel.

"Putting the Christmas tree is not a novelty, rather it is a tradition meant to share in celebrating occasions guests hold while they are away from their home countries and families," the Gulf News daily quoted a hotel statement as saying.

This tradition "is within the framework of the UAE's policy which is based on the values of openness and tolerance," the hotel added.

I'm not sure what the "professional standards of the hotel" have to do with it, but I think somebody realized that a tree with decorations worth $11 million could be perceived as a bit gauche, especially when viewed in the context of a world full of major economic crises. Fortunately, after the holidays the hotel can go back to its lower key existence as the only place outside of Germany (who knew?) with a "gold to go" vending machine.

* * * * * * * * *

Those of you who would like a global view of how the rest of humanity lives might be interested to take a look at Where Children Sleep, a recently published fabulous book by photographer James Mollison. He travelled extensively to gather his material and quickly realized that not every child has what most of us probably would consider a traditional bedroom:

Where Children Sleep presents English-born photographer James Mollison's large-format photographs of children's bedrooms around the world--from the U.S.A., Mexico, Brazil, England, Italy, Israel and the West Bank, Kenya, Senegal, Lesotho, Nepal, China and India--alongside portraits of the children themselves. Each pair of photographs is accompanied by an extended caption that tells the story of each child: Kaya in Tokyo, whose proud mother spends $1,000 a month on her dresses; Bilal the Bedouin shepherd boy, who sleeps outdoors with his father's herd of goats; the Nepali girl Indira, who has worked in a granite quarry since she was three; and Ankhohxet, the Kraho boy who sleeps on the floor of a hut deep in the Amazon jungle. Photographed over two years with the support of Save the Children (Italy), Where Children Sleep is both a serious photo-essay for an adult audience, and also an educational book that engages children themselves in the lives of other children around the world.

Sample photos are here; be sure to scroll down to read the captions. This is the kind of book that can provide perspective, a particularly valuable and often scarce commodity at this time of year for most of us -- even folks who can afford an $11 million Christmas tree.

© 2010  Cynthia Friedlob

Image credit: Bogdan Munteanu at stock.xchng

Five Simple Tips to Help You Make Good Shopping Decisions

'Tis the season! But you may have noticed that it often feels like it's no longer the holiday season, it's the shopping season. In a year of record high unemployment, with massive numbers of home foreclosures, and utter financial disaster affecting a huge number of people, we're still being urged to shop until we drop. Of course, not everyone is buying it.

In the past, I've posted several alternative views about how to handle shopping during the holidays, including observing Buy Nothing Day rather than Black Friday; considering the words of Reverend Billy of The Church of Stop Shopping; and celebrating Discardia, the holiday created by Dinah Sanders who wants us to find the joy in letting go of stuff rather than acquiring more. But the reality is that most of us will be searching for a gift or two, so we might as well be as prepared as we can be when we face shopping.

I'm an advocate of buying consumable gifts rather than stuff: food, tickets to events, memberships to museums, etc. These gifts also offer the advantage of shopping online. But if you're going to buy something that your recipient will have around the house for awhile, I'm also an advocate of shopping at local small businesses who will appreciate your support. Whether you intend to shop in your neighborhood or hit the mall or superstore, it's helpful at least to be aware of some of the factors that influence our decisions to buy.

Retail stores will do their best to engage all five of your senses to get you to make a purchase. They'll be sure to use flattering lighting; they'll play music in a familiar style that makes you comfortable, like you belong there, and the tempo will be slow enough that you'll be encouraged to linger; they'll make the store smell inviting, too, and maybe offer you free samples of cookies or other holiday goodies (eating stimulates the salivary glands and studies have shown that leads to spending); and if you touch something you're considering buying, you'll be more inclined to buy it (a "disadvantage," from the retailers point of view, that online shopping can't overcome; but an advantage for careful shoppers!).

Stores will also encourage impulse buying. We've all been tempted, and often succumbed to the urge to pick up a little something extra while standing in line at the cash register.

Retailers often identify potential 'impulse buys' and stock them at the ends of aisles and close to the checkout stand. Shoppers may not plan to make these sorts of purchases, but stores do plan to make these sorts of sales.

Adding a bonus item for "free" is a temptation few can resist.

The power of 'free' is really quite incredible," says Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University in Durham, N.C., and author of Predictably Irrational. In a series of experiments described in his book, Ariely found that people consistently preferred to get something free over paying a little for something, even though they'd actually come out ahead in the latter case. For instance, he offered mall-goers in Boston the following choice: a $10 Amazon gift certificate free or a $20 certificate for $7. Most opted for the freebie, even though they would have netted more money from the $20 certificate ($13 versus $10). In a second experiment, he offered a slightly different choice: People could buy a $10 gift certificate for $1 or a $20 certificate for $8. Again, the $20 certificate was $3 more profitable, but this time — with "free" off the table — people went for it.

All prices are relative and our perception of value is affected by this. A less expensive item in a store full of luxury goods may look like a bargain, but the same price on the identical item in a department store could look excessive because we'll compare it to the average department store prices.

So, for example, a computer store can probably sell more $100 printers if it also has a $300 printer for sale than it could if the $100 printer were the most expensive one they carried.

This is the time of year that stores are most aggresive in offering discounts if you open a credit card account with them. But simply choosing to pay with any credit card can be deceiving.

Paying with a credit or debit card can almost seem like not paying at all. No actual money changes hands. There's no real evidence that you're any poorer than you were before. But when you pay with cash, money does change hands, and not in a pleasant direction. You end up with less than you had before. You're demonstrably poorer. It hurts. A number of studies have shown that shoppers are less prone to impulse buying if they leave the plastic at home and force themselves to endure the pain of paying with cash. Ideally, they should use bills of large denominations, according to a 2006 paper in the Journal of Consumer Research. "People are less likely to spend if they are carrying a $50 bill compared to when they have ten $5 bills," says Mishra, a co-author of that article.

Finally, there is evidence that the shopping experience is different for men and women. We really do still behave like hunters and gatherers:

"There's a shopping center in Germany with a play area for men," says Daniel Kruger, a professor in the School of Public Health at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. "A woman can drop off her partner there, and while she shops he can drink, work with power tools or watch sports on TV."

The point being, both of them are happier that way. "Men just want to get what they want and get out," says Kruger, the lead author of a 2009 study published in the Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology that documented fundamental differences in the shopping behaviors of men and women. "Women have a much greater appreciation of detail, a much greater desire to actually experience what they're getting. They want to see several items and compare them."

The researchers linked these differences all the way back to when the man of the cave went out hunting while his mate stayed home gathering nuts and berries — "which is very similar," Kruger observes, "to going to a flea market today and sorting through everything to see what's good."

So, assuming you've thought through exactly how much shopping you want to do, how can you plan ahead to be sure you make your best possible shopping decisions?

1. Set a budget.
2. Don't shop while you're hungry or tired.
3. Don't buy something just because you can get something extra with it for "free."
4. Pay with cash.
5. Remember that hunters and gatherers are happier shopping separately!

© 2010 Cynthia Friedlob

Image credit: Robert Proksa at stock.xchng

New Day Resolutions

Bill Vaughn, the late Kansas City Star columnist and author, once observed about New Year's Eve that "an optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year; a pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves." I suspect that most of us combine both of those outlooks, eager to put any unpleasant memories behind us and hopeful that the coming year will provide many happy ones.

I also have mixed feelings about the annual ritual of making resolutions. Sometimes those vows to ourselves can be motivating, but sometimes they set us up for feelings of failure. Part of the problem is the intense focus on making dramatic changes starting on one particular day, January 1st, as if no other day were suitable for such tasks and as if small changes were not important. Fall off the resolution wagon, as so many of us do, and the whole year is shot. Of course, that's not true, but we often feel that way.

So, this year I've decided to abandon New Year's resolutions in favor of the approach that British sculptor Henry Moore advocated: "I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's." I much prefer this option to reinvent myself on a smaller scale every day rather than in some major form once a year. Thinking in terms of daily reinventions will allow me to avoid the usual large, annual goal-oriented resolutions -- even such worthy ones as last year's plan to lose mffwhty pounds (unsuccessful) or the 365 Item Toss Unclutterer Challenge (successful!).

But resolutions, no matter what their scale or how often they're promised, require some sort of structure, so I've come up with one. Rather than making a list of specific things to do (or avoid doing), I'm going to use a few questions to help me make daily choices. I offer them for you to consider using, too:

1. Is what I'm doing either necessary or enjoyable?

2. Could I approach it in a way that would render it either unnecessary or more enjoyable?

3. Is engaging in this activity the best expression of my authentic self?

The last question is especially significant. Are you being the best version of who you truly are, not who you're "supposed" to be, not who other people perceive you to be, not who you used to be some time in the past? Of course, this requires defining who you are now. That can be a fairly daunting, but worthwhile, task that will take some time (probably more than you might think).

And how does all this apply to "thoughtful consumers?" First of all, in what ways does that phrase describe you? Does it mean avoiding certain products or manufacturers because they don't appeal to your own authentic sense of what's "right?" Does it mean using public transportation or a bicycle? Does it mean living in a commune? (Shades of the sixties!) Or does it mean simply avoiding buying things that you and your family don't really need so that you don't live surrounded by clutter? However you define it, that's a reflection of your authentic self and your daily choices can be guided by that knowledge.

Guided, not propelled down some inflexible path to some unimpeachable truth. Many consumer choices are complex and confusing; some options are unaffordable or impractical. Also, situations and levels of awareness change over time and the choices you make today may not be the choices you make tomorrow. The key word in the label, "thoughtful consumer," is "thoughtful."

There's one other thing I'm going to remind myself about every day (if only I remember!) that I hope you'll remember, too: it's not necessary to be perfect; it's only necessary to do the best you can do.

If you're reading this on December 31st, you don't have to wait until tomorrow to start becoming the best version of your authentic self. Happy New Year, but happy new day, too.

(c) 2009 Cynthia Friedlob

Image Credit : (c) 2009 Billy Alexander stock.xchng

Discardia: A Holiday for Unclutterers

Monday, the 21st, marks the return of Discardia, one of my favorite holidays. I first learned about Discardia two years ago from a post on Jeri Dansky's popular blog; the full story (which is definitely worth reading) is at the website of Dinah Sanders, who came up with the amusing idea for this clever holiday in 2002.

Although it's celebrated throughout the year (between the solstices and equinoxes and their following new moons), the celebration nearest to Christmas is particularly worth noting. I've posted about the spirit of the Discardia in the past, but the basic principle is that it's a time of letting go of unnecessary things, "things that no longer add value to your life." That requires a significant change in the way we think about our possessions. What better time to reexamine the value of possessions than during a holiday season in which the focus too often is on mindlessly giving stuff to other people who probably really don't need it?

I love giving thoughtful presents so I'm not advocating abandoning the practice. I'm just very fond of the idea of using this time to let go of lots of my excess stuff, too. Also, the end of my year-long, 365 Item Toss Uncluttering Challenge is looming, so I've used Discardia to help me make sure I met my goal -- and I have. I've even exceeded it: 486 items have been donated, recycled, re-gifted or sold in the past year! You can get more details about the challenge here on the original blog post (updates are in the comments).

If you celebrate Discardia, you'll find that what you're really doing is giving yourself a gift: freedom from too much stuff!

(c) 2009 Cynthia Friedlob

The Movie Santa Doesn't Want You To See!

Christmas is a tricky time for unclutterers. It makes us painfully aware that we're swimming upstream as far as the general society is concerned, although the tanked economy currently is making that swim quite a bit easier. But even the most confirmed unclutterer is not necessarily a grinch. Except for the ascetics among us, we'd all agree that there's nothing inherently wrong with stuff; the primary issue is the quantity of stuff that so many of us have. True, most of us who advocate living with fewer rather than more possessions would prefer to keep the tangible holiday gifts to a minimum, but that doesn't mean we don't have the spirit of the season. And yet, how does one keep the "correct" balance during a time that's so focused on giving -- or, more accurately, buying?

Bill Talen, aka "Reverend Billy," offers one answer in What Would Jesus Buy? Produced in 2007 by Morgan Spurlock of Supersize Me fame, this documentary film tackles the commercialization of Christmas but has a larger focus on the general excesses of consumerism, too. Talen, a genuinely concerned consumer, is also a comedic performance artist who resembles a younger Jerry Lee Lewis. He travels the nation as a preacher from the Church of Stop Shopping. The Reverend warns of the coming Shopocalypse: "the end of mankind from consumerism, overconsumption and the fires of eternal debt." He exorcises demons at the corporate headquarters of that well-known small business crusher, Wal-Mart. He and the Church of Stop Shopping Gospel Choir put on a rousing good show everywhere from small churches to the Mall of America (surely a place of worship for shoppers), but the message is legitimate: buy less and give more; buy locally; reduce, reuse, recycle. And buy with awareness. Who made the product? Where? At what cost to the environment? Under what labor conditions?

All of these issues are important, even urgent, but sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the seriousness of our concerns and lose the joy of the season and the fun of giving. Sometimes the message has a greater impact when the messenger makes us think and laugh, as Reverend Billy does.

If you live near Greenfield, Massachusetts, you can see the show at the Christmas Revival on December 19th. You can see the Reverend Billy's recent interview on CNN here.

Does the Reverend speak to you?

(c) 2009 Cynthia Friedlob

Bleak Friday

I wrote a blog post last year about the outrageous circumstances of the tragic death of a WalMart employee on Black Friday. Jdimytai Damour was the 34-year-old temporary employee who was trampled to death as a mob of shoppers stormed the doors of a Long Island WalMart store, searching for bargains at the ironically named Green Acres Mall. In case you didn't keep track of the legal proceedings that resulted from the "incident," as it's euphemistically called, here's what WalMart agreed to do last May in order to avoid criminal prosecution:

1) implement improved "crowd management" plans at all of the 92 stores across NY state

2) set up a $400,000 fund to compensate about 11 other victims who were injured at that time

3) donate $1.5 million to social service and non-profit groups in the Long Island community

4) hire 50 local teenagers annually

Although WalMart admitted no wrong-doing as part of the terms of the settlement (which was not accepted by Charles Ogera, the victim's father), this may seem a rather paltry amount for the retail giant to fork over for what many would consider gross negligence. However, I was surprised to learn that, had the case gone to court, the maximum penalty that could have been imposed on the corporation for a felony was $10,000 -- about what WalMart earns in fifteen minutes on an average day. [Correction: The original proposed fine of $7,000 is what WalMart earns in about 18 seconds, according to the LA Times. That makes more sense.]

And yet, as much as the store may have appeared at fault in the eyes of the public, if not the eyes of the law, Bruce Watson, writing at Daily Finance, commented on the power of consumer greed that contributed to the crowd's behavior that day: "...it is worth noting that the store's customers argued with the police and employees who asked them to leave after the trampling. All told, the event suggests a deep consumerist soul-rot that is alarming."

Although economic conditions will probably slow down spending a bit this year, I wonder if we'll ever get to the root of the problem, the "soul-rot" that forces so many people to buy so much unnecessary stuff. Of course, anyone can make the choice not to participate in the shopping madness. I've written about Buy Nothing Day in the past, too; it falls on the same day as Black Friday. Maybe it will pick up a few more adherents this year. I hope so. Whatever happens, I just don't want to have to write another Angry Consumer blog post on November 27th.

(c) 2009 Cynthia Friedlob

Photo credit: Sanja Gjenero/stock.xchng.hu

The Power of Marketing to Kids

I know that the holidays are a big deal when you're a kid. But I'm also an advocate of parents knowing where to draw the line when it comes to gifts. (Easy for me to say; I'm not a parent!)

Yet, every child wants something special -- maybe a pricey bicycle, an expensive musical instrument, or a hard-to-find toy. So every parent who can afford to, and many who can't, do their very best to accommodate their children's wishes. In holidays long past, parents might buy the item second-hand and that often was just as satisfying as one that was brand new.

Today, techno-toys (anything from computers to fancy phones to game machines) seem to top the list for a lot of kids. Because technology changes so rapidly, second-hand goods in this category are usually going to be outdated and not an adequate substitute. Also because of the rapid changes, many new technology-based gifts will require expensive upgrades, usually more quickly than parents expect. You can also bet that they'll get discarded more quickly than parents expect, too, when the next new toy comes along.

So I was interested to read a blog post by my favorite marketing guru, Seth Godin, called "When Marketing Goes Nuclear" and watch the associated video showing the reactions of various kids, each opening a gift that turns out to be a Nintendo Wii. According to Seth, the video shows what happens when "scarcity plus Christmas plus social pressure plus greed plus kids = critical mass." He found the video disturbing; I'm on the fence about it. I would hope that some kids would be equally excited to find a less expensive gift that they also wanted, but maybe that's no longer realistic thinking.

When did marketing to kids take over to the point that "every" kid wants the same thing, and wants it desperately? Does it go all the way back to Tickle Me Elmo? Cabbage Patch Kids? Shirley Temple dolls? When did a techno-toy become the most important thing to have? Are girls and boys equally excited about them? At what age does the techno-toy desire kick in?

I've got a million more questions.

What do you think of the video?


© 2009 Cynthia Friedlob

Discardia Returns, Just in Time

I've mentioned Discardia in a previous post, but this is definitely the right time for a reminder.

Discardia was the creation of proud "web geek" Dinah Sanders on December 25, 2002, during what must have been a particularly interesting Christmas holiday experience for her. Here's the short explanation (although I highly recommend that you click on the link and read the full story):

"Discardia is celebrated by getting rid of stuff and ideas you no longer need. It's about letting go, abdicating from obligation and guilt, being true to the self you are now. Discardia is the time to get rid of things that no longer add value to your life, shed bad habits, let go of emotional baggage and generally lighten your load."

Discardia is a seasonal holiday, celebrated four times each year during the days between the solstices & equinoxes and their following new moons. So, the winter Discardia of 2008 begins on December 21st. For those who are looking for a simplified holiday season, keeping in mind the Discardian principle of letting go of stuff rather than acquiring more could be very helpful.

Discardia also reminds us that this is supposed to be a season of joy not obligation. So if you're feeling particularly stressed, this is a good time to remember the spirit of the season. Cutting back not only on shopping for gifts, but also on demands on your time and energy, will make the holidays something you anticipate happily rather than something that causes anxiety or even dread.

Whatever holiday you'll be celebrating, I offer my best wishes for health, happiness and peace.

Simple, Uncluttered Holidays

On a quest for a simplified, uncluttered holiday season? You've undoubtedly figured out that it would help to minimize the decorating, share the holiday meal preparation, and make sure that you don't over commit yourself to social events. But what about gifts?

If you're determined that your holiday gifts won't be a hassle to buy or create clutter for you, your family or friends, check out Jeri Dansky's terrific Clutter-Free Gift Guide. You won't find a better assortment of ideas anywhere for gifts for everyone on your list. You'll also find an excerpt from an excellent article by San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll about the "malaise of materialism."

Of course, there's also regifting, an option I wrote about in my previous post.

If you're really committed to cutting back on your gift-giving, you might want to investigate "Buy Nothing Christmas" and help spread the idea from Canada to the U.S.A. Here's the background story of this movement (and, yes, the idea also works for those who celebrate a secular rather than a religious holiday):

"Buy Nothing Christmas is a national initiative started by Canadian Mennonites who offer a prophetic 'no' to the patterns of over-consumption of middle-class North Americans. They are inviting Christians (and others) all over Canada to join a movement to de-commercialize Christmas and re-design a Christian lifestyle that is richer in meaning, smaller in impact upon the earth, and greater in giving to people less-privileged."

But what if you buy a few gifts -- can you still participate?

"Definitely. We are all going to have to buy some things. When you do buy things, we encourage you to remember principles like buying locally, fairly-traded, environmentally friendly packaging, recycling or re-using, buying things that last, and so on. The main aim of this campaign is not to save money (although that can be a side benefit), it's not to slow down the pace of Christmas (although that can be a side benefit), it is to challenge our over-consumptive lifestyle and how it affects global disparities and the earth. So, even though you might buy a few things at Christmas, it's important to think in these global economic terms."

If you'd like a few chuckles about how totally insane consumerism has become at this time of year, check out Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping. The "Reverend" (a character created by NY performance artist Bill Talen) has been around since 1996, but now he has a gospel choir and a group of "true believers" assisting him in his mission:

"The Church of Stop Shopping is a project of The Immediate Life, a New York based arts organization using theater, humor, and grassroots organizing to advance individuals and communities towards a more equitable future - starting today. We partner with citizens, grassroots organizations and progressive visionaries to produce dynamic, informed public campaigns that enact our core values - participatory democracy, ecological sustainability, and the preservation of vibrant communities and local economies."

Academy Award nominated documentarian Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me) produced a docu-comedy feature for The Church of Stop Shopping entitled, What Would Jesus Buy? The promotional tag is, "The movie Santa doesn't want you to see!"

I don't agree with that. I think Santa is probably tired of having to act jolly while he lugs around tons of excess stuff that we don't need or even want. He deserves a break -- he's one of those rare public figures in big business who isn't being indicted or asking for a bailout.

© 2008 Cynthia Friedlob

National Regifting Day

There are other holidays around this time of year and I'm not just talking about Hanukkah.

Yes, National Regifting Day is coming up on December 18th, the Thursday before Christmas. The folks at Regiftable.com have created this holiday "in honor of holiday office parties and the 'unique' gifts exchanged at them." According to their research, "4 in 10 regifters (41%) target coworkers as the recipients of their regifts."

The website offers free customizable gift tags you can print. They've even conducted surveys to discover how people feel about regifting. Here are a few of the survey results:

"The majority of people (62%) say they regift because they think the item is something the recipient would really like; this is up from 53% who answered similarly in 2005.

"More than 4 in 10 people (42%) say that they regift to save money; this is up 27% since 2005 when only 33% claimed to regift for monetary reasons.

"More than half (60%) of Americans think regifting is becoming more accepted."

Those were the results last year -- pre-financial meltdown. I expect that there will be more regifting going on this year in an effort to save money. And there's nothing wrong with that as long as you follow some important regifting rules. The Motley Fool has a useful article and list, greatly condensed here:

Don't confuse "barely used" with "brand-spankin' new.”

Do not pass off items that were clearly purchased for you.

Don't declare, "It's vintage!" when it's really just plain bedraggled.

Do keep a flow chart of gifting so you don’t regift the original giver.

Triple-check for all telltale regifting signs such as gift tags stuck in the bottom of the box.

Give with good intentions, as if the gift were new.

But the final rule is the most important one that we should remember:

Give it away anyway. Even if the item isn't in perfect condition, someone, somewhere will be delighted to have it. Pass it on to a family member who would enjoy it or hand it over to your favorite charity.

You might be feeling a bit strapped for cash this holiday season, but it's still likely that there's something (more likely, plenty of somethings) you already own that you can let go. With so many people struggling through lay-offs, cut-backs, foreclosures and other difficulties, now is the perfect time to "pay it forward."


© 2008 Cynthia Friedlob

The Angry Consumer: Black Friday Death at Wal-Mart

At five a.m. today, a 34-year-old Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by bargain-hunting shoppers in Long Island, New York.

An AP report said:

"'He was bum-rushed by 200 people,' co-worker Jimmy Overby, 43, told the Daily News. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too. . . . I literally had to fight people off my back.

". . . A police statement said . . . shoppers 'physically broke down the doors, knocking [the worker] to the ground.' A metal portion of the door was crumpled like an accordion. "

. . . [Before police temporarily shut down the store], eager shoppers streamed past emergency crews as they worked furiously to save the worker's life."

Several other people were injured, including a 28-year-old pregnant woman who was knocked to the floor. She was taken to the hospital for observation.

The NY Daily News reported:

"'They were working on him, but you could see he was dead,' said Halcyon Alexander, 29. 'People were still coming through.'

"Only a few stopped."

An updated AP report added:

"'This crowd was out of control,' said Nassau police spokesman Lt. Michael Fleming. He described the scene as 'utter chaos.'

"Dozens of store employees trying to fight their way out to help the man were also getting trampled by the crowd, Fleming said. Witnesses said that even as the worker lay on the ground, shoppers streamed into the store, stepping over him.

"Kimberly Cribbs, who witnessed the stampede, said shoppers were acting like 'savages.'"

These were not people in a country ravaged by war or natural disaster, desperately trying to get food or water to keep themselves and their families alive; these people were clawing their way into a mega-store to get cheap prices on stuff. Savages, indeed.

Police are reviewing the store security videos and it is possible that there may be criminal charges brought against some shoppers.

But when does our society get indicted for making a $400 TV more valuable than a human life?

© 2008 Cynthia Friedlob

Continued . . .

At 4:30 this afternoon, the LA Times online reported that two people were shot to death at a Toys 'R' Us in Palm Desert, California. According to the Times, it was apparently "a personal dispute between two groups of shoppers."

Selling a Sexy Halloween to Little Girls

I think the eighties was the decade when the definition of appropriate clothing for young girls changed radically. Madonna was the primary pop culture culprit. She pranced and posed through her music video of "Like a Virgin," capturing the hearts of men and boys, but also providing a new kind of role model for girls, including very young girls who probably didn't know what "virgin" meant.

Some twenty-five years later, I suppose they'd now have to be very, very young girls to be that uninformed. It should be no great surprise that most young girls are not only more sophisticated and more aware of their sexuality than in decades past, but they also have to deal with pressure to behave as if they were more experienced than what is likely to be comfortable for their emotional maturity level.

Then, along comes Halloween, the holiday that justifies dressing up as any fantasy character that's appealing. It used to be Snow White, or a ballerina, or maybe a princess costume that younger girls gravitated to most often, but that's not the case any more. And it's certainly not the case for the manufacturers and marketers of Halloween costumes.

Diane E. Levin is professor of education at Wheelock College in Boston and the co-author, with Jean Kilbourne, of So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids. She shared her observations in an LA Times interview that I strongly recommend reading in its entirety. Here are a few excerpts :

"Halloween costumes for 7- and 8-year-old girls and even younger have become downright titillating, and for tweens and teens, the vast majority of those sold in stores and on the Internet are unabashedly sexually alluring. Little girls and their big sisters are being encouraged to get dressed up, in many cases, like child prostitutes. . . .

"The sexy princess costumes, sexy witch costumes seem to be most ubiquitous and most dramatic. For girls 8 and up, the skirt will have a big slit on one side. By the time girls are 12, the costumes are low cut."

The results of this early sexualization of girls, according to Dr. Levin, are complex:

". . . the girls' costumes set up certain expectations in boys as well as in the girls who wear them or want them. What are boys' reactions, looking at girls when they're all dressed up in these sexy costumes? They think, 'That must be what girls look like to be pretty, and being pretty is the important thing.' . . . How [girls] look and what they buy [also] affects their view of themselves. But it also becomes the basis for how they treat other girls. It's harder and harder to have [girl friendship] relationships. . . .

"This is why we may be seeing a generation in which [social] relationships are often played out as interactions between caricatures of sexual stereotypes, why you can have 'friends with benefits' and 'hooking up.'"

We're a conflicted society when it comes to sex and violence. We don't seem to mind depictions of violence, thus the many gory Halloween costumes for little boys, including terrifying characters from films that they are too young to see without an adult present. (I've never figured out how simply having an adult present somehow immunizes a child against the disturbing emotional effects of grotesque and gratuitous carnage, but that's the accepted cultural standard.) Yet children are almost fanatically protected against seeing any depiction of sexuality in film.

Personally, I'm not enthusiastic about exposing young kids to either sex or violence on screen, but, of the two, allowing children to see graphic movie violence is far more disturbing to me.

I am quite certain that, as a society, we abhor real life violence directed against children and we certainly don't want children engaging in sexual behavior when they're still emotionally and psychologically too immature for the experience. But somehow, in spite of this, it's become all right to sexualize the appearance of our little girls in real life, long before they understand or are prepared to deal with what that means.

A Newsweek.com article (take a look at the photos on this link!) on this phenomenon reported:

"Witches are 'wayward' and grammar-school pirates are 'wenches.' A girl isn't an Army cadet, she's a 'Major Flirt,' and who knew female firefighters wore fishnet stockings? Even Little Bo Peep comes with a corset, short skirt and lacy petticoat. . . .

"Dr. Eileen Zurbriggen, [is] a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz, who last year chaired the American Psychological Association's (APA) Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. Their report, issued in February, declared that, 'Throughout U.S. culture, and particularly in mainstream media, women and girls are depicted in a sexualized manner.' . . .
[There is] increasing evidence of the negative impact an overemphasis on body image has on girls' lives. The APA task force's team of psychologists linked oversexualization with three of the most common mental health problems for women 18 and older: eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression. And there is evidence that the effect is trickling down the age brackets. 'Clinicians are reporting that younger and younger girls are presenting with eating disorders and are on diets,' says Zurbriggen.

Later in the same article, Dr. Sharon Lamb, another APA task force member who coauthored, 'Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing Our Daughters From Marketing Schemes,' was interviewed:

". . . most Web sites selling kids Halloween costumes divide merchandise along gender lines, and typically offer more choices for boys than girls (boys get to be doctors, police officers as well as gory monsters and 'Star Wars' characters). Of the 22 girl costumes featured on one Web site Lamb looked at, 15 were cheerleaders, divas and rock stars. 'That really limits girls' imaginations,' says Lamb, who surveyed 600 young girls for the book, many of whom admitted to dressing up as something sexy for Halloween in order to get attention."

I recall seeing a documentary some years ago that explained that children have a clear understanding of culturally defined gender role differences by the age of five. What was considered appropriate for girls versus appropriate for boys in those young minds included every societal stereotype imaginable, from girls not being athletic to boys not being allowed to cry. It was quite surprising, and rather depressing, to discover how effectively these models had been internalized by that early age.

What kind of models are being internalized by five year old children now?

The popularity of sexually provocative Halloween costumes for young girls reflects of some of today's confused societal norms. But who knew that costumes for boys have been affected, too?

An article for the Canadian CBC News reported:

"Not only girls are targeted with sexualized costumes. Boys can choose packages of pimp paraphernalia as part of their costumes."

Oh, fabulous. Girls dressing like little hookers and boys with "pimp paraphernalia." Parents, brace yourselves. (But don't you wonder what exactly is included in the paraphernalia?)

I'm grateful to know that there are still some children that have fun at Halloween without sexual referencing in their costumes. Otherwise, we might as well just redefine the meaning of "Trick or Treat!"


© 2008 Cynthia Friedlob

Discardia: Better Than Festivus

If you've checked your calendar recently, you're probably aware of some rapidly approaching traditional holidays: St. Patrick's Day, Easter, April Fool's Day, Passover, even Earth Day. But are you aware of Discardia?

I first heard about this wonderful holiday through a post last December on pro organizer Jerri Dansky's delightful blog. Discardia is the brainchild of Metagrrrl, aka self-described web geek Dinah Sanders, who, in true Seinfeld spirit, states that the holiday is about nothing. However, she created it on December 25, 2002, which gives us a clue about her motivation. Here's a quote further explaining its purpose:

"Discardia is celebrated by getting rid of stuff and ideas you no longer need. It's about letting go, abdicating from obligation and guilt, being true to the self you are now. Discardia is the time to get rid of things that no longer add value to your life, shed bad habits, let go of emotional baggage and generally lighten your load."

Discardia holidays (yes, plural) are based on lunar cycles. To be precise, sort of:

"The exact days vary. It takes place in the time between the Solstices & Equinoxes and their following new moons. Sometimes it's short and sometimes it's long."

A calendar can be found here. As you can see, there are four opportunities during 2008 to celebrate. This coming Wednesday, March 19th is the beginning of the next Discardia holiday.

What to do to celebrate? Dinah offers this suggestion:

"[B]ear in mind that obligation is anti-discardian, so you can do whatever suits you - including celebrating Discardia when it isn't Discardia. However, one thing you might like to consider is the idea of culminating the Discardian season with a particular act of letting go. For example, on the Discardian new moon you might decide that you won't buy anything or bring anything into your home and that you will instead just enjoy the fact that you have enough. Or you might make that your night to be completely selfish, avoid all social commitments and do something you really enjoy, regardless of what anyone else thinks or expects of you."

The Discardia posts offer a wealth of information about parting with excess baggage, whether it's literal or psychological, including Dinah's own unburdening of her stuff and her gradual creation of a more satisfying life.

I love the idea of an ongoing, seasonal celebration of letting go. Getting rid of clutter this way doesn't seem like such a chore or a sacrifice, but instead is simply a preparation for a holiday. And if that holiday is celebrated regularly, more and more stuff will get out of our homes and more and more joy will be brought in.

I hope that on April 5th, the last day of this coming Discardia, you, too, will be able to celebrate by saying, "I have enough!"

© 2008 Cynthia Friedlob

Getmas and Civility

Chris Erskine writes a column for the LA Times called "Man of the House." I don't usually read it (sorry, Chris) because its about family life from the dad's point of view. A guy thing.

"Brewster Rockit" is a Tribune-syndicated comic strip by Tim Rickard. I don't usually read it either (sorry, Tim) because its a sci-fi tale about a completely incompetent spaceship captain in the distant future and the humor just doesn't work for me. Another guy thing. Maybe a young guy thing.

However, props must be given to both Erskine and Rickard for their recent offerings that I happened to notice by chance in the last few days.

Brewster Rockit currently features a storyline about "Getmas" in which Brewster wonders if perhaps the upcoming holiday wasn't originally about somethings else -- perhaps "giving." This is a thought worth pondering, especially if we remember that giving doesn't necessarily mean giving stuff.

Erskine wrote a column called "Give the 'tude a holiday rest" an odd admonition, he acknowledges, for a guy who lives in L.A., "the world capital of ego and affectation." He points out that attitude -- that self-aggrandizing superiority that is just a tiny notch below blatant hostility -- is "a slap in the face to manners, class and character." I agree with him one hundred per cent.

I find it amazing that swagger and smugness appear to have become generally desirable traits that, if you believe the ads, can be achieved by purchasing the latest car/clothes/jewelry/etc. I've commented in the past (here and here) about this deadly affliction of "cool" and how it's used as one of the basic motivators to manipulate us through advertising.

Unfortunately, attitude now seems to be almost everywhere in popular culture and it's created a basic lack of civility that has infected our society. I think it's time to call a halt; or maybe I'd settle for a more realistically achievable holiday time out.

So, as the remaining seasonal "shopping days" finally dwindle (is there nothing other than shopping that we could be doing with our time?) and we head into the new year, I'd like to cast my vote for remembering that this is a season of giving, not getting. Let's not let Getmas take over our celebrations.

This is also a particularly busy and stressful season in which a little less attitude would be appreciated. Maybe slow down on the freeway and let the other guy into your lane. Give the checker at the market a break, even if you're in a hurry. And for the sake of sanity, get off the cell phone while you're driving or shopping or dealing with paying a salesclerk. Let's make at least a small effort to be civil to each other.

And let's pause to contemplate Erskine's insightful closing observation:

"[R]emember that the most mythic figures of our time never needed attitude [Joe Montana, Elvis Presley -- Shrek!] . . . For them, talent and skill outweighed posturing. Mostly, they always had the courage to be who they really were. And, really, how totally cool is that?"

It should be cool enough for all of us.

© 2007 Cynthia Friedlob

Frantic Shopping vs. Retiring Early

There are several blogs and websites that have devoted space to gifts that aren't "stuff" (The Unclutterer's comprehensive list of suggestions is a good place to start looking). There's also plenty of information available about keeping perspective and simplifying your life during the often stressful holiday season (you might want to take a look at my posts tagged "Holidays").

And what are the positive results of these efforts? Well, having a calm and joyful holiday season is a big benefit, as is not contributing more useless stuff to someone else's life by calling it a "gift."

But what if we thought bigger? What if we thought of realigning our patterns of consumption not just for the holidays, but for a goal that probably seems unattainable to most readers?

Early retirement.

Frugal living is obviously required to achieve this goal, unless you're one of the lucky few whose income is so substantial that cost-cutting means ditching the private jet and suffering through flying first class on a commercial airline. Ironically, frugality used to be considered a virtue, not a curse. However, now when someone talks about frugality, it usually presumes suffering because we lack what we need.

Not so.

If we redefine what we need, there's quite a bit of flexibility in how much we can accomplish with just a small amount of frugal effort. But the most interesting example of the benefits of frugality that I've come across lately is in an article provided to Yahoo Finance by Bankrate.com about extreme early retirement -- in your thirties!

Before you dismiss the notion because you think it could not possibly apply to you, and even if you're well beyond your thirties, consider this quote from the article:

"Aside from an unwavering focus on their goal and an indifferent attitude toward amassing all the latest stuff, extreme early retirees can't be lumped into the same category. They run the gamut from young parents, singles and dual-income couples without children. Weston [MSN personal finance columnist and author Liz Pulliam Weston] has talked to couples with as many as four children who are living in expensive areas of the country, as well as those who have no family ties and a cabin in the woods.

"They share an excitement about their lives, a desire to spend time in pursuits that are meaningful to them, and often, an environmental conscience."

So, let's take a moment to play the "what if" game. What if you decided to buy fewer gifts this year? What if you decided to spend nothing and, instead, make your gifts from things you already have around the house? What if after the holidays you didn't have a gigantic credit card bill? What if you didn't have a credit card bill at all?

Now let's go a step further. What if you decided not to buy into the whole consumer insanity that demands a new wardrobe every year? Or a new car? Or a bigger house with a bigger yard?

What if you decided to save more money with a goal of retiring early? Or what if you moved to a less expensive home or a part of the country where you were able to live on much less money right now?

What if you decided to start living your dreams instead of trying to buy them? How would that change your holiday plans, and your plans for the future?

If you're rethinking the way you're going to celebrate your holidays (or your future) and would like to share your thoughts, I'd like to hear them!

© 2007 Cynthia Friedlob

Holiday Gift Ideas for the Over-stuffed

If you survived Buy Nothing Day without buying anything, bravo!

But even after your successful act of "shopper disobedience," most probably you still want to figure out your holiday gift list. With a little thoughtful effort, it's not hard to come up with gift ideas that are not just more stuff. Here are some of my favorites:

In addition to the usually much-appreciated gift of homemade food, I particularly like gifts that offer the recipient an experience rather than a "thing," so I'd suggest a museum membership or membership at the zoo; season tickets or tickets for a specific play at a theater; concert tickets; a gift certificate for services at a local spa; or a homemade gift certificate for dinner at a favorite restaurant (you get to go, too!).

I also like to make donations on behalf of recipients to their favorite charities or charities I think they'd find interesting. (Please take a look at the list of my personal favorites at the side of this blog for some ideas.)

Rather than giving yet another toy to a baby or very young child, consider a U.S. Savings Bond in the child's name. Interest on the bond is tax-free if it's used for education, so you're making a nice contribution to the child's college fund.

A very practical gift that's often appropriate for a student with an unreliable car is a membership in the Auto Club.

Homemade gift certificates for services like baby-sitting, car-washing, or rides to the store for those who can't drive are always appreciated and a great option if you happen to be short on gift-giving funds.

And instead of a gift card to a store, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with giving cash to a young person, especially if it's presented in an unusual or entertaining way. Try wrapping up decorated rolls of quarters for a mysteriously weighty present or put pennies in a glass jar with a big bow around the top. If you'd like to give paper money, a bill in a card designed for the purpose will be perfectly fine, but how about the same amount in crisp new dollar bills bundled inside a wrapped box?

Whatever you choose to give, I hope it doesn't include the latest bizarre and ridiculous item I discovered in a magazine advertisement: nail polish for dogs! Not only do I find this new line of doggie products offensively thoughtless, I can't imagine the discomfort of an animal with an exquisite sense of smell being subjected to the odor of nail polish and, subsequently, polish remover. I'm truly horrified.

I'm horrified, but now I'm curious, too. Readers, have you ever received a particularly strange or ridiculous gift? If you have, please write a comment describing it so we can all share in a good laugh or a moment of stunned disbelief!

© 2007 Cynthia Friedlob